The Slumdog Millionaire Madness: Is it worth it?

Need I introduce Slumdog Millionaire, which has been THE phenomenon for the first 3 months of2009? Indeed, its rise to fame as been no less the spectacular as that of its central character – from distributors who weren’t interested in the film to a sweep of 8 Oscars. What else – instant stardom for its cast and crew, a sudden increase in the world focus on India, and no decrease in tourist traffic in Mumbai despite the 26/11 bombings?

Yet I remain surprised. I watched the film, with plenty of expectations, as it is, and found myself disappointed to the gut. My god! How could this film become the outstanding thing it is?

I am forced to echo Ram Gopal Verma – Slumdog is a mediocre movie at best.Period.

What was it everyone was saying about it – a very colourful movie? Yeah, that is true, but only literally. A fantastic depiction of slums? Air of optimism wafting about the film? Blah blah blah….?……

The depiction of slums is pretty commonplace, to be honest. And there is very little effort to show the optimism in the slums – there are forced scenes of dirt and grime included when that has nothing to do with the movie. The only explanation I can think of is that Americans have never seen slums that are so municipally neglected, and can’t believe anyone can live in them, let alone optimistically – hence it might’ve been pretty astounding to them. Sad news is, it just isn’t so in the real India. Maximum people live in those slum-like conditions. And many of them live happily.

And then again, I am forced to wonder why people didn’t notice the gaping plot holes in the film. My eyes nearly popped out as scene after scene, I was forced to watch blunder after blunder. Why would Amitabh Bachchan’s helicopter descend on an empty field in the outskirts of Juhu and not atop a 5 star hotel? Why would the Big B give his autograph to a shit-covered boy? How could Jamaal sit alone in a railway platform the very night of winning 20 million dollars, with no media dogging after him? Why did Javed Bhai allow Jamaal to remain in his house chatting with Latika? How come Jamaal was so fit the very next morning after being electrocuted into unconsciousness? How could Jamaal and Salim use the hotel freely? How does learning a bhajan automatically mean you know who wrote it? Why? How? What?…… I could never end. You want to see violence? Pain? Hatred? Loss? I’m sorry, but Slumdog just didn’t show any of them properly. The recent Firaaq is way better in that respect – and indeed, Firaaq is an awesome movie.

Plus the question of Jamaal and Latika’s love. Did anyone of you really feel their love? When did their characters develop anyway? We only know Jamaal was overtly innocent and Latika?…. She’s just the lovebird for Jamaal.

And dude, when did that become the epitome of Bollywood dancing? Thousands of people on a railway platform, dancing synchronized together? I take that as an insult! Bollywood dance is an art, and there are subtleties and nuances in it. The first thing anyone should notice is – everyone does not dance together in the same steps all at once. Like all dance forms, it is an expression; and the Jai Ho dance didn’t express anything at all, maybe that “hey the credits are coming up” or “we must include this, cause it’s based in Mumbai.”

Music, music…. Rahman’s score is good, really good. As usual, you know. If the world is going gaga over the Slumdog Millionaire album, what would they say about Roja, or the more recent Jaane tu Ya Jaane Na? Latika’s theme sounded the best in the album. And no doubt about it, O Saya is way better than Jai Ho. Jai Ho does well only because of Sukhwinder Singh and the happy ending. The lyrics aren’t that good. I dunno, but it doesn’t stand alone.[Stop me from stabbing myself, but what has Pussycat Dolls done with the song??]

But yeah, the cinematography and the picturization are really amazing. Kudos to Anthony Dod Mantle and Boyle for that – that was the only redeeming factor in this movie. Like the last moment when Jamaal and Latika meet and their history of pain and violence and loss rewinds itself and is forgotten in love; or when Jamaal laughs after being asked the last question in the show, because he knows he has lost all the money but won everything…. wonderful!!

I am unanimous with the world on one aspect – the kids did a really marvelous job. So did Tanay Chheda – in fact, it’s only Chheda and Madhur Mittal who save the show in the adult versions of the kids. Freida Pinto has profited the most due to this sudden famedom, dumping his husband and all to foray further into the world of glitz. But when did she act? Come to think of it, when did any of the Latikas get to act?

I was also thankful that the Hindu-Muslim thing wasn’t stretched out too long, and at least not included in the case of Jamaal and Latika’s love.

The premise was interesting – a flashback movie, on how destiny rewards innocence and honesty in a slumdog to show him the path to his love – and a new life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against all the negative things shown in the movie – yes, the beggar trade is true, the gangsters are true, the prostitution business is true, the pig-dirty slums are true, and so are the ceaseless riots. We live with all of that every single day. Just the depiction isn’t as good as it could’ve been.